Healing the minds belief in a bully by the Holy Spirit.
This healing happened over many months in the first year of my two year dedication period to undo the ego. This was in 2013.
I have shared about this healing many times in groups and on YouTube videos because it shows how the Holy Spirit works.
I was working as a fulltime Accountant during my two years of healing, except towards the end when I was out of work for 3 months. So, even though I was working full-time, my real job was watching my ego thoughts and bringing them to the Holy Spirit for healing.
At my work, I believed there was a bully. She worked in the next office to me and she was a tall large lady with a big voice. She had worked there for years and I was new. I was really afraid of her because she seemed confident, self-assured and always spoke her mind. I was fearful she would start targeting me and that is exactly what I started to experience. The course teaches me that this is my own projection, but I could not figure this out. How I could project something that seemed so real and fearful and that definitely seemed to be happening to me rather than by me. I wanted to understand completely how this was coming from my own mind.
So, I sat quietly one night at home and said to the Holy Spirit that I cannot understand how I am projecting this bully and can he please show me how I am doing this and help me see this differently. I was then guided to do three things:
1) I was guided to wash her feet as a visualisation in my mind. Like Jesus washed the feet of others. So, I imagined her sitting in her office and I walked in with a warm bowl of water and a soft towel. I could feel the fear arising in my mind, of even being in her presence in the image of her office, but I was dedicated to undoing all fear, so that I was willing to do everything I was guided to do. I gently took off her shoes and started to gently bathe her feet. Slowly, I could feel a bit of love replace the fear. Each night, I continued to do this visualisation of washing her feet. Then one night, I was washing her feet with such true humility and love, that I looked up at her and I saw my own face. I was washing my own feet. It was so beautiful.
Then the my face changed back to her face. I felt this incredible love flow through me. And in that moment, the Holy Spirit reminded me that this lady’s Mother had passed away when she was a young girl and that her Father had raised her in a tough manner. I was shown times when she had been sad and could see how she felt she had to be strong.
He then showed me where I was a bully at work. I was shown how I was trying to undermine my manager at work. She was 63 years old and was starting to make mistakes. I had my eye on her job and so I was making my own plans for taking over her job. She would ask me to do things her way and I resisted and would gossip and bitch about her behind her back with another worker in our department. The spirit showed me all the little things I did to bully her and how I constantly overlooked this behaviour and justified it to myself because I thought she was too old for the job. The Holy Spirit did not judge me but just showed me what I had been doing to bully her, like we were watching a movie. I was really surprised that I was the bully. But, I was glad to have it shown to me.
Just after this awareness was bought in, I attended an ACIM retreat. On the first day, we were asked to sit in a chair and another person was to stand behind us and just put their hands on our hair, head and shoulders. We had gentle music playing. This was about extending gentle love to each other. I sat with my eyes closed as I received these loving hands laid on my head and shoulders. Then, I suddenly felt her hands on my feet. I opened my eyes and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I felt that I was getting my feet washed. Then I heard Jesus speak to me. He said “I am washing your feet”. The tears of love flowed out in a torrent of humility. I felt Jesus’s love so deep and his gratitude for doing this work to heal my fears. The lady that had put her hands on my feet said she had been guided to go down to my feet and lay her hands on them. Even though the instructions were only to lay hands on heads and shoulders. This lady is Sonia. She is the sister of Linda who helped me a few months later after the nightmare.
2) The second thing the Holy Spirit asked me to do with the “bully” was to repeat in my mind, as I walked past her office “I Love You”. I needed to walk past her office many times during the day, as it was the way out to the lunch room and reception, that I got lots of chances to practice this.
3) The third practice, I was guided to do was image she was Jesus. So, I had to imagine that Jesus had come back for the day as her in disguise. I went to work that particular day and she came into the main office where I worked and started complaining about other employees. I looked past the scene in front of me and just focused on her. I imagined that she was Jesus and I could feel all this love welling up inside of me, for her. I could feel myself being humble towards her and wanting to serve her. I never spoke to her during that moment but my attitude was changed completely towards her. I saw only her holiness in that moment and was completely changed by this experience.
After these three practices, my fear of bullies completely disappeared from my mind. I felt a beautiful love towards my ex-bully and was guided to move on to a new job. When I arrived at my new job, I was told that one of my bosses was a bully and that no one liked him. I laughed inside because I realised that I could not find a bully every again. The idea of a bully had been healed from my mind and I went on to become very good friends with the so-called bully at that company. He used to come sit in a chair next to me when everyone had gone home, stretch out and say “There’s something very different about you Cate. I just feel so accepted by you and enjoy talking with you.”