Awakening through the gentleness of Christ.
In January 2015, my mind awakened to God’s Mind. To the Real World. To the experience of an all-encompassing love.
It all started in January 2013, after 14 years of being an on again-off again course student, I made a decision to make the Course’s teachings the most important thing in my life. I decided I would do exactly what Jesus asked me to do. This A Course in Miracles book was the only book I had ever read that promised I would have Peace if I followed its teachings, so what did have to lose?
I had heard the word “awakening” many times but I really had no idea what that term meant, so my dedication came to be “TO UNDO THE EGO”. I knew that the ego was the problem and I desperately wanted “The Peace of God”. I had no idea how the ego was going to be undone, but I decided that nothing else had worked, so I was giving this 100%.
At the time I made this dedication, I was experiencing extreme levels of depression and anxiety. I felt like I was backed into a corner because life seemed so unbearable. A relationship with a man had recently broken up so I made the decision to stay out of all relationships for two years. I was going to give two years completely over to undoing the ego.
This meant that every single moment of that two years was going to be used in someway for healing of my mind. Every weekend was a “ACIM retreat” in my house. And I was the only one in that retreat! Except Holy Spirit and Jesus of course. They always showed up. So, it was me and my team. But first of all, I had to actually get in touch with my team. And I needed to learn how to do that. So my first learning, was learning to get quiet and listen. So for the first few months, I focused on trying to hear the Holy Spirit. It seemed strange to do this listening, but I was dedicated and eventually I started to receive very clear guidance.
Up to this time, I had not spoken to another ACIM student or read any books written about the course nor had I listened to a course teacher or attended a group. It had just been the book and me. I wanted no one misleading me about what its true message was. But, within a few months, I was led to my first course group, led to another group who did the occasional ACIM retreat which I attended and led to read The Disappearance of the Universe.
During those two years, 2013 and 2014, every moment was for the undoing of the ego mind. All relationships and situations were used as a tool to help shift my mind back to peace. I wanted nothing from the world anymore, so I was totally committed to my goal of peace. I wanted the Peace of God above all else. Above being right, above seeking love, above planning for myself, above defending my body, above everything. I surrendered to God in the last six months of that two year period. I let go of everything and held onto nothing. I gave my life to God and have experienced the most beautiful peace of mind since.
I have shared many of my experiences of healing my mind, here in these posts so that you can see what lessons God would have me learn, to let go and let Him teach me about my Self.
Love and hugs, Cate xxx